I keep trying to make life complicated. I keep thinking that there always has to be something bigger, better, more exciting and further reaching. But those things I look for always disappoint. Every time.
Too much time on social media makes tangible life feel purposeless.
Self-promoting sets up expectations that I can’t live up to.
Always looking for the next big thing makes the moments that my life is built on feel pointless.
Basically, whenever I take my eyes off the tangible, off the here and now in order to look for greatness in the world, I quickly find myself in a deep dark hole that I have to climb out of. That hole I climb out of is full if discontentment and disillusionment.
Let me put it more clearly….
I am a thrill seeking adrenaline junkie…who likes to do safe, non-life-threatening things. Like watch musicals. I can’t tell you how pumped up and alive I become when I watch musicals. But I also can’t tell you the emotional low I experience when that musical is over. I become disillusioned with my own life. In the span of two or so hours, I experience emotional highs like you wouldn’t believe. And when it’s over, I’m left thinking, “Is that it? Now what?”
But life isn’t a musical, as much as some of us might wish it was. Life also isn’t digital. Life isn’t black and white. Life isn’t boring. Life isn’t a non-stop thrill ride. Life isn’t predictable. Life isn’t all joy. Life isn’t all sorrow. Life isn’t all about you. Life isn’t all about them.
What I keep bringing myself back to is this – life is quite simple. It is a string of days that culminate into a beautiful lifetime. I’d like to live those days focusing on what matters, like loving my husband and learning how to be a good wife. Like learning that I really can trust God in all things.
I’d like my moments to encourage others by picking them up off the side of the road and getting them back on their way.
I’d like to embrace that rest is a gift that should be enjoyed. Stress doesn’t have to rule my life.
I’d like to see God in everything, and always be listening to his voice. I’d love to see people set free by his love. I’d like to spend so much time in the bible that it oozes out of me at every possible chance.
My personal quest is to get a little closer to this every day. I want to experience the fullness of life that God has available for me, and I know that it’s found in everyday tasks. It’s not found on a screen. I keep thinking about the pioneers who settled new lands in America – making a home from nothing or from wood they purchased at an outpost. They had hard work, a few people if they were lucky, maybe a family, and the Lord. Do you think their lives had no meaning? Absolutely not. I can only imagine that they enjoyed the fruits of their labor, trusted in the Lord through hardship, and lived out the drama of life with the people around them.
That seems pretty amazing to me.
We can’t get away from the internet in 2018 – it’s a way of life. But we can decide how much time we put towards the digital, and how much we put towards the tangible.